Utterly random thoughts

My friend Mr. C says I don't blog enough. The reality is that I am a binge blogger. There is actually not much in my life that I do consistently other than eat and sleep so it is perfectly natural that my blogging is erratic. Embrace my erratic behavior. It is the essence of who I am.

So, my thoughts for today are utterly random and spurred on by Mr. C's request for more posts.

Tommy had a good week at school this week. "Better" is how his teacher stated it. The good news is that she knows he is capable and can tell when he is trying so it helps us to get a realistic view of his behavior. Mrs. E said he was "full of energy" in Sunday school today though. He said he was just "really excited." :-) It's just a matter of perspective. She did tell me a great story though. Last Sunday a little boy told Tommy that he hates God. Tommy was shocked and concerned by this and alerted the teachers saying, "He needs help!! You need to help him!"

Yesterday, all on their own, Katya and Tommy decided to straighten up the house to bless Daddy. What a delight. They went around looking for things that weren't where they belonged. Wow moment. Thinking of someone other than themselves is a big thing for two kids who spent time in an orphanage where the only rule is self-preservation. And doing something like cleaning up other people's stuff is huge (as opposed to blessing someone by doing something you enjoy like drawing a picture). They scored some ice cream and a trip to the gym for a swim with Daddy for that one.

Last night Sam and I were discussing my side effects. The latest one being water retention. I'm the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Mom. Lovely. It hits a peak in the evening when I feel like I might burst. My socks leave a very deep indentation on my marshmallow legs that stays for a significant period of time. Anyhoo, while we were talking I told Sam that a lot of the time I have to stop and remind myself that I have leukemia. I don't have fatigue, brain fog, stomach problems or marshmallow legs--I have leukemia. Weird, huh? It would seem to be an obvious thing that I am constantly concerned about, but it's not. I suppose it's just like anything--you get caught up in the details and forget about the big picture.

We were also talking about how we try to just live like I'm not sick by trying to make plans and go on like everything is normal. The reality of the situation being I never know when I am going to feel lousy and end up on the couch or in a major brain fog for the day. So we have to make the plans realizing that they could change on a moments notice. But the truth is that is exactly how we are supposed to live our lives anyway. It's ok to make our plans as long as we know that our plans may not mesh with God's plans and our day or week (or life!) may go completely differently than we thought--and being ok with that. Leukemia is just a helpful little reminder of God's sovereignty wrapped in a cancer package.

My latest foray into trusting God's sovereignty in my daily plans is that I am signing up to be a substitute teacher at the kids' school a day or two a week. The kids are totally jazzed and can't wait for me to be in their classrooms. This could be a really good thing by giving me somewere I have to be so that I am forced to work through the minor levels of fatigue, but on the flip side this could totally tank. Either way it's worth a shot.

In getting my paper work in order to be a substitute I had to have proof that I have had an MMR immunization. For some reason the little scrap of paper that my mom recorded my childhood immunizations on isn't sufficient. So, I had a blood test and discovered that I am not immune to measles and mumps. Clearly those immunizations have a shorter shelf life than assumed. So, now I have to get a shot. I have to check with my doctor first to make sure my white blood cell count is high enough (or that would be really fun--giving myself measles and mumps!!) and then I get the shot. Oy. As if I didn't spend enough time with doctors as it is.

I could go on as I am feeling rather clear-headed today, but I will stop as I am sure that your neck is sore from sitting and reading your computer monitor. If I write enough in one day, maybe you can just pretend that you have forgotten to check my blog for a long time and that you are the one catching up with all of the posts you missed! Just like with Tommy--it's all a matter of perspective.