Tales of Christmas Present(s)

Christmas was very eventful this year. A lot happened that was blogworthy. A lot. I'll just give you the highlights though.

*Noah received a punching bag and gloves. Seeing this, Tommy jumped up and yelled, "Yay! Now you won't have to beat me up anymore!!! Thank you, Santa!!"

*We thought we would have a little fun with Emily this year. Be assured we will not attempt this in the future. She wanted a cell phone bad--real bad. We decided to go ahead and get her one because she will be staying at school a lot with cheerleading and whatnot. So, we thought it would be funny to wrap up a toy cell phone and give it to her and then give her the real one when she was done opening all of her presents. She opened the toy cell phone and we all giggled and she played with it a few seconds, looked under the tissue paper in hopes of finding a real one hiding there, and proceeded to...sob. Nice. Someone's heart was a little too set on a cell phone I'm thinking. So, Sam got up to console her and I went and got the real phone and said, "maybe this will make you feel better." She opened it while continuing to sob--this time feeling bad for her bad response. We're up for Parents of the Year after that one.

*We have two Santa believers in the house and so we have to be careful what we say. We have never told the kids that Santa is real but after a few comments by one of our children to a neighbor child a few years ago (something along the lines of "Santa (i.e. St. Nicholas) is dead") we decided to play along with them. So, there are a couple of gifts for each kid under the tree that are just labeled with their name and don't say who they are from. Rachel is a serious believer--putting milk and cookies out for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. So, on Christmas Emily was opening a gift of clothes from "Santa" and Sam says, "Em, guess who picked those out." (He helped and was very pleased with his selections obviously.) From across the room I was trying to shush him without drawing attention to it. After getting no response I graduated to mouthing the words "SHUT UP!" and finally seeing me, Emily pipes up with, "Why is Mom saying 'shut up' to us?" Luckily our younger children were not paying close enough attention and figured it was an inside joke or something. Oy.

*Sam likes to guess what his presents are before he opens them. It is a ritual I've come to accept. What is weird is that he has a very high percentage of correct answers. Noah has clearly inherited this gift because when he was preparing to open the radio control helicopter we got him, he announced, "it's an r/c helicopter." I am sure I confirmed his guess because my jaw was on the floor. Later, Noah decided to help Sam open--and guess about--his gifts. Noah decided that he was only really able to guess well with electronics because he was way off on any clothing items. When I was on my last gift Noah was hurrying me along because he wanted to play with his toys and he was annoyed that he had had to wait for Mom and Dad to open our gifts. So, I started going really slowly because that it the kind of mom I am. Sam said he should just use his "powers" and tell us what it is and we could be done. So, Noah picks up my gift and feels it all over. "Hmmmm," he said, "it feels like a food box....maybe crackers?...like Ritz." Sam is astonished and tells me to just open it and what did I find? A Ritz box (with a gift card to Crackers restaurant inside mind you). We are beside ourselves wondering how he did it and laughing hysterically when Noah starts to giggle and says, "I cheated!" He had seen the Ritz box peeking through the wrapping paper where I had started opening it and decided to string us along. We laughed even harder at that point because he had so totally tricked us.

*After the kids opened their presents, Sam told them to come sit down and he was going to read from Luke. Noah was not at all excited about this and replied, "You don't need to read the Bible today it's Christmas!"

Katya's friend

Katya's best friend's last day of school is today because she is moving. Katya has a difficult time understanding and communicating her own emotions so I'm not sure how hard this is for her. She has also experienced a great deal of lost relationships in her life and I'm sure there is a temptation to just stuff it and move on. She has had difficulty making friends in the past, but it appears that she has become friends with a couple of other girls at school in anticipation of Brooke leaving. Please pray for her as she is in this transition and pray for us to help her walk through it.

Green cards and glasses

You will be happy to hear that Tommy got a green card yesterday! And the P.E. teacher said that he had the best day he has ever had in P.E. and "was the most well behaved student in the class." (Half of Tommy's class informed me of this when I walked into his classroom yesterday. They were soooo excited to tell me how great Tommy did that they were all talking at once. He has 19 personal cheerleaders.) The down side for Tommy is that the P.E. teacher said, "Now I know that you can do it and I'll expect you to do that every day." Oops. Rule #1 of School Poker: never show your hand.

Oh, and Tommy broke his glasses yesterday "opening them too hard." He made it two months. That's longer than I had guessed and the very reason we bought two pair.

Gaps and our great, big God

There are many days when I am stunned by the lack of knowledge we have regarding Tommy and Katya's life before they were part of our family. We have no idea what their life was really like, other than some of the stories that Katya can tell us. And we will never really know the full effect the various traumas they've encountered have had on them. To lose both parents to death and then to be separated from family members and live in an orphanage is mind boggling for me. Thankfully, God is the Father to the Fatherless and He never took His eyes off of them even once.

The other day, a conversation with Tommy reminded me of all of this. It revealed a huge gap in his understanding of family and relationships. We were talking about how his Dad doesn't know what it's like to have a brother (having only sisters) and I commented on the fact that had we not adopted him he would never have had a brother either since he only had Katya as a sister. His shocked response: "Katya was my sister in Russia??" He went into the orphanage at 3 1/2. We adopted him when he was almost 5. I remember early on that he would refer to his orphanage classmates/roommates as his "brothers" and I would correct him and tell him that they were just his friends and not his brothers. Somewhere along the line at a developmental age when he would have been figuring out how people are related to one another, he was without family to connect to. He knew Katya and knew she was his "sister," but apparently didn't necessarily differentiate that relationship from the others in the orphanage, except that they had history together living with Babushka (Grandma). Wow. He can say the words but clearly does not understand the deeper meaning. He refers to his brother and sisters all the time. He talks about his friends' brothers or sisters. But in our conversation he had to ask me "So, what makes someone a brother and sister?" Wow again.

I am left feeling thankful that God is sovereign over Tommy and Katya's life. I will never know all of the gaps they have and all of the emotional scars they carry as a result of their early life. But God does. He knows all about them and cared for them throughout their trials. He brought them out of a life of certain poverty and difficulty by bringing them to the United States. He is giving them an education lightyears beyond that which they would have received in their orphanage. And most importantly, they have come here and learned that there is a God who is Creator of all things (including them), that we are all sinners in need of a Savior, and that God provided that Savior by sending His Son to die on a cross for the sins of His people. There is very little likelihood that they would have heard the Truth in their rural orphanage or in the small town they would have returned to after leaving the orphanage. God could have sent a missionary to them or some such thing, but instead, he plucked them out and brought them here to Gilbert, AZ to be raised in an environment that (hopefully) points them to the Savior and their need for Him.

Wow.

Elvis sighting

Last night we were driving in the car and Elvis was on the radio singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." I said to the kids, "It's sure not Christmas without Elvis." To which Rachel responded, "That's Elvis? It doesn't sound like him. Was he alive when he did that?" Hmmm. After about 30 seconds of seeing me stifling a giggle she realized what she said and cracked a smile. Apparently the recording sounded so clear and "not old" that she was confused--knowing that Elvis sang his songs soooooooooooooo very many eons ago she assumed that it should sound crackly or something.

Cha-ching

I'm sure you were wondering what $9000 looks like in a bottle. Now you know. Thank you Lord for insurance!!!!!

12 Days of Christmas

About 5 years ago I started a tradition with the kids where starting on Dec. 13 they get a small gift in their stocking each day until the 24th. I got the idea from a magazine I think. Basically it is a way to give them socks and underwear and have them get excited about it. The gifts are really no big deal (from my perspective) but they get sooooo excited each year they are ready to come unglued by the 12th. Noah, who only likes to take a shower in the morning--and has decided to fight many battles on that point--decided to shower last night so that he would be ready for the stockings this morning! I got smart last night when I was putting their gifts in their stockings--I hung a sign next to the stockings saying "Rule #1: No one goes near the stockings without permission. Rule #2: No one opens a gift until ALL rooms are completely clean." I didn't have to remind one child to clean their room or pick clothes up off the floor before they left for school. I'm thinking our mornings are going to go a little smoother for the next 11 days.

This morning they each got an ornament for their collections (the girls each get angels and the boys each get a star--reminders of the story of Jesus' birth).

This year Noah blessed Sam and I by making us some gifts for our stockings for the 12 days. Today Sam got a felt cup holder and I got a felt purse "embroidered" with MOM. Too cute. Here's a picture of them:

The Big Red Wall

Sam has been wanting to paint our kitchen wall red since we moved in. He finally did this weekend and we love it!

Nativity

We made this nativity set when Emily was 3 and Noah was a few weeks old. Emily "helped" paint a couple of the wooden pieces but the rest was done by Sam and I and our friend Velma (who was living with us at the time.) It was originally one of those projects you see in a magazine and think will be fun to do with your child--until you see the detail required and end up doing the whole thing yourself. We had a great time staying up late and figuring out what we were going to use for each part. The cow is my favorite--Velma made it. I love pulling this out of the box each year.

Wrinkles of all ages

Last night Katya referred to an elderly woman in a movie she had seen as being a "grandma." The woman actually was not a grandmother and so I was explaining to Katya that not all old women are grandmothers and helping her to see what does make someone a grandma. One of the things she said was that having a wrinkly face meant someone was a grandma. So Rachel chimes in with: "No Katya, Mom has wrinkles and she's not a grandma." The other kids guffawed loudly, Rachel took one look at me and you could hear the tires screeching as she threw on her mental brakes and attempted to fix her faux pas. She very kindly pointed out that even she has wrinkles when she scrunches up her face. I feel much better now.

Rewards and Consequences

Okay, so after dinner tonight we started a discussion regarding drawing up a contract for things that have been--or in many cases haven't been--happening around the house. Sam and I originally thought about leaving the kids' messes and seeing how long it would take living in squallor before they decided to clean up after themselves, but the flaw in that plan is that they have an incredibly high tolerance for filth. As indicated by their tendency to step over multiple items on their floor and think nothing of it. So, we decided to go with a contract of rewards and consequences for behaviors instead of seeing how long I could be grossed out by the kids' filth.

The conversation really got lively when we decided to implement some consequences for Daddy. If Daddy doesn't clean up after making his coffee the first suggestion for a consequence was no coffee for a week. Ouch. If Daddy comes home late from work they wanted him to have to pay each kid 50 cents. Which of course lead to ideas for calling his boss and asking him to make Daddy work late! Young capitalists. And if Daddy yells they want him to have to buy them ice cream.

It got very funny when I said, "What if I yell?" and Tommy yelled out, "You get a kiss!" Sweet! Rachel suggested I get a "Leukemia Day Card" from them so that I could rest so I would feel better. Hee, hee, hee--clearly I only yell if I'm having a bad day from my leukemia and I can't be held responsible. "Is there anything else that I do that I need consequences for?" Thoughtful silence. It was agreed that they couldn't think of anything. At this point I am laughing hysterically because they wanted to lynch Sam for leaving his shoes out and they want to reward me for yelling and give me the day off. It's great to be Queen.

And the evening wouldn't be complete without a little Tommyism. Noah suggested that a great reward for his own good behavior would be to be allowed to beat Tommy up--to which Tommy instantly replied, "Yes! I love it when you beat me up!!" (Insert confused looks on parents' faces) Noah: "So, you like it when I flip your entire body in the air and smash your head on the ground?" Tommy: "Yeah! I love it!!" (Insert Sam and I shaking our heads slowly and sighing heavily.) Instantly I had a mental picture of Noah saying, "But he said he liked it," as we are carting Tommy off to the ER.

Merry Christmas in Tommy-ese

You know who is walking around the house singing:
Anees Nahveeda
Adees Nadeeva

Emily keeps correcting him and so she is constantly saying, "It's Feliz Navidad!" and throwing off his rhythm. Every time she says "Feliz" he responds with "Anees." It's actually kind of funny to watch as she throws her hands up in defeat and sighs heavily. Welcome to my world.

And do I really want him to say it correctly? I mean he is singing it with such gusto and clapping along and shaking his hips and everything. Singing it right would ruin the moment!

The Plague has lifted

Thankfully we are disease free here at our abode. Well, except for that pesky leukemia that keeps hanging around. Everyone was finally back at school on Friday. Just in time for the weekend! Luckily the one holdout who was home could be left alone for trips to the store so I wasn't trapped in the house the entire time. I could have been insane if I had.

We went to the Electric Light parade in Phoenix last night. Thankfully it was not as cold as it had been because we were quite comfortable throughout the parade. I did start to get chilly toward the end because I am a true Arizona cold weather wimp but I had made sure I dressed properly in order to keep the frostbite at bay. I am happy to say that no fingers or toes were lost thanks to my good planning.

We introduced our kids to the joys of a thermos. We brought hot chocolate and toward the end of the parade Rachel and Noah wanted some. They were visibly surprised to find out that it was still hot! How can this be??--It's cold out here! Hee, hee, hee. Clearly they have not spent enough time in cold weather.

This was Katya and Tommy's first parade ever. Tommy says he liked it a lot, but he would like to see one in the day time to see how they compare. I overheard him before the parade started telling his friend that he was planning on running out to hug the clowns when they came by. Hmmm. So, we had our first parade etiquette talk. It went something like, "You don't want to know what will happen to you if you run out into the street during the parade." It worked--everyone stayed in their seats where they belonged. A few well placed threats can work wonders in parenting.

2 back, 1 to go...

Well, Emily and Rachel have returned to the Halls of Academia. Noah is the final holdout. He has a weird form of this illness. He has nausea and stomach cramps and a low grade fever that comes and goes but that's it. Last night he was lamenting that he wished he could just throw up already! It's funny how constant nausea makes you want to throw up when it is normally something that you would want to avoid.

My mom and dad have been visiting (but not staying with us) for the last ten days and they are heading home today. Hopefully things will go back to normal...whatever that is. (I'm pretty confident that our "normal" would probably put the average person into a stress-induced coma.) Mom and Dad will be back at the end of February for six weeks. Thankfully they have quite a few friends that live in Phoenix so they don't spend the entire time with us. They've never been in town that long before so it should be interesting to see what they do to keep themselves busy. They can only handle being at our house in small bursts because the constant frenetic activity of my children makes them hyperventilate. That and the 463 question quota each child has per day. That could send even the most sane person over the edge within about 23 minutes.

Tommy's latest: "Hey Mom, remember the other day--not tomorrow--but the other day...?" It's a good thing he clarified it because I might have remembered something he did tomorrow--and that would have been weird.

When it rains...

Ok, so Rachel was feeling yucky all weekend. Her stomach has yet to recover fully from her night of fun on Thursday. She still has stomach cramps often and has to lay down until they pass so she stayed home from school today to avoid the embarrassment of having to lay down on her classroom floor throughout the day. Luckily I was able to go get her work from her teacher so she can utilize her time wisely (i.e. not just watch movies and play video games).

While I was getting her work I got Noah's work for the day because he too is not feeling well. Stomach cramps and a temperature. It's just a matter of time before we get to see the contents of his stomach, but for now he is able to do his school work and giggle with Rachel.

But wait, there's more...Emily is home with a temperature, stomach cramps and vomiting. We like to have someone in each stage of the illness to keep us on our toes. She really doesn't feel good--just one look at her confirms it.

And did I mention that I can't really handle vomiting? I used to be able to catch it with my hands if necessary, but after 4 months of chemo induced nausea and vomiting I have NO tolerance for it. It takes everything in me to clean it up--and being in the same room while it is happening is completely out of the question. Thankfully Emily is old enough to make it to a receptacle of some sort without my help.

So as a result of this plague, I've become obsessive-compulsive. If I even walk past one of the kids I wash my hands, and I've been frequently wiping everything down with Clorox and Lysol. I'm seriously considering a surgical mask. I know it's just a matter of time before my number comes up (along with my lunch) but at least I'll go down swinging!

It's not Thanksgiving 'til somebody...

...barfs. That's right. There's nothing like a little stomach flu to round out the holiday celebration. We were busy cleaning up the kitchen when we heard Noah yelling down the stairs, "Mom!! I think Rachel just threw up!!!" (My question is: why didn't he "know" that she threw up. It's always very clear to me when someone does!) I got upstairs as fast as possible and discovered that, yes, indeed she had. And she had been laying on her bed (because her stomach was hurting) and didn't quite make it to the trash can in the corner. Yay, something else to clean up.

My friend Kelly graciously came over with her Kirby vacuum/carpet shampooer and helped us clean up the mess. Hey, if our Thanksgiving was going to be capped off that way we figured we should share the joy!

Prior to that we were having a lovely day. Sam has won the husband of the year award for making the ENTIRE Thanksgiving dinner. Well, to be honest I did help a little--I opened the cans of cranberries and put them in a bowl, put the rolls in a basket and warmed the gravy in the microwave. Sam makes a fantastic (and very moist) turkey so if anyone needs any tips I'm sure he would let you in on his secrets.

Last night the kids spent the night with my parents at the condo they are staying at. They had a great time with Grandma and Poppa and we had a quiet house. Very quiet. Amazingly quiet. I've decided that we need to make this a family tradition--regardless of how my parents feel about it.

I'll leave you with today's Tommyisms:
"Did Daddy kill the turkey yet?"
Upon seeing the table being set: "Are we having a party?"
"May I have more chicken?" (After doing nothing but turkey projects all week in school and being reminded umpteen times at the table that it was turkey and not chicken.)
Sam: "Tommy, tell me what food you ate--but please don't use the words 'this' and 'that.'
Tommy: "I had some turkey, potatoes, and some of this and some of that."

Chinese Sleeve Tricks, Mammos, and Side Effects

I don't really have a reason to write today. Not like I ever do, but today no specific thoughts are coming. The guilt over having not written anything for over a week is too much though so I will fill this space with something to attempt to soothe my guilt.

We had a fun moment with Tommy last night at dinner. (Tommy is very helpful in giving me stuff to blog about) Here's the basic story line: Noah was sticking his hands into the opposite sleeves of his shirt and they got stuck. Sort of like one of those Chinese finger toys that always gets stuck and yet everyone still sticks their fingers in them. So, while I was helping Noah get his arms out, we were explaining to Noah why that was a poor choice (especially since he was doing it while his dad was trying to speak to the children at the time). Understand that this took several minutes because I had to physically separate his arms as well as examine the hole he created in his sleeve as a result of his shenanigans. Everyone at the table understood our position on what he had been doing. Well, not everyone. After the diversion with Noah, Sam continued with what he was saying and after about a minute, he and I both happened to look at Tommy at about the same moment only to discover....yep, you guessed it--his own little Chinese sleeve trick. The entire family sat and stared at him with their jaws on the table. "How did...?" "What were...?" "Why...?" "Didn't you...?" Sam and I couldn't finish a sentence for a full 3 minutes. The upside is that we do have a great sense of humor about some of these things. In hindsight that is.

Yesterday I also got to enjoy my annual mammogram. I think the technician had some sort of a fight with her husband just prior to my appointment because I'm thinking she applied just a bit more pressure than was medically necessary. Clearly she has some agression issues. And she had to come back and do 2 more shots after the first round of punishment! Get it right the first time you crazy woman!! It's a good thing I only have to do it yearly so I can have the chance to let the memory fade and the emotional scars heal. I know who I will be having nightmares about for a while though.

On the health update side of things, I seem to be having a lot more tired days from my medicine lately. (Hence the lack of blogging.) The fatigue is competing with the frequent yucky feeling in my stomach for "Gleevec Side Effect of the Year." And there are unfortunately a lot more days when I am not happy about either of those side effects keeping me from living my life as I want to. It is a much greater temptation to grumble and complain the longer I feel like this. And no one should tell me that I am entitled to. Doing "everything without complaining" means everything, even feeling yucky. I am not entitled to sin any more than anyone else is. There is a difference between acknowledging that I feel yucky and screaming out loud "I am so tired of feeling tired and yucky! I don't like this!! Make it stop, it's not fair!!" Thankfully God is a patient and loving God who listens to my whining and comforts me regardless of my bad attitude and graciously reminds me of his sovereignty.

And I can only give the credit to Him if I have a good attitude in the face of a bad day. Left to my own devices I would spew nothing but complaints. He is graciously giving me much joy and faith in the face of difficult circumstances. The reality is that most everything in my life has gotten more difficult because of how I feel. Being so tired makes even the simplest of tasks overwhelming on some days. It's usually that I lack the mental energy required to even think about doing something. I can go through the motions and get things done, but I feel like a zombie while I am doing it. However, I need to continue to try to do things because a life lived laying on the couch is not really a good choice. I also have a hard time staying focused mentally and no one can really help me with that--believe me, if someone could I would take them up on it!! Please think for me!!!

So, whenever there is a huge gap in blog entries (like the last week), we can just blame it on the leukemia. It's already got a bad rep, but we'll just add "blog prevention" to it's list of evils. It'll add to it's street cred with the other diseases.

It's my birthday and I'll blog if I want to

Yep, that's right. I'm officially 39. Now I realize that is the fictitious age of many women, but I am actually 39. My health being what it is I'm excited to be 39 and I will be excited to be 40 next year, Lord willing! It's all a matter of perspective.

This morning Katya put up signs saying Happy B-day and Birthday Moms Only (on my chair--sort of like the birthday throne). Noah made me an egg sandwich and served it to me on a tray in bed. Then they all went to school.

Other than that my day has been pretty standard. Although I have to admit that I woke up feeling my gleevec this morning. Gleevec takes no holiday apparently. There is no birthday clause in the side effects pamphlet. So, I have been dragging all day. I forced myself up and out but to no avail. Gleevec wins today. I did manage to go get my free lunch at Joe's BBQ though. Very nice birthday perk. It's a tradition in our family at this point--it's not a birthday unless you've had your Joe's. I also did a little shopping after Joe's and found myself a birthday purse. Alas, even the shopping could not eliminate the gleevec yuckies. You know it's bad when shopping isn't a cure! :-)

We are going out for dinner tonight. Steak. Mmmmm. Everyone in the family gets to pick what they want for dinner on their birthday. I want something that is cooked in a restaurant. I want food to just appear before me. I want the dishes to just disappear behind a wall to be done by some unknown, unseen person. Birthday dinner perfection.

Oh, and my favorite present was the green card that Tommy got for his behavior at school today. (Green card=good) He said he worked hard to give me that for a present. Of course, the fact that he was an island and separated from his posse all day probably helped. Mrs. D said that he was "so quiet" all day. He said it was easier not sitting at a table with everyone else. Welcome to Solitary, Tommy.

Dinner revisited

My friend Robbin says that I don't have to cook dinner for 2 1/2 weeks because I cooked a freaky combo vegetable. Works for me. I like Robbin's way of thinking. I actually ate said freaky combo vegetable as well, which in my very vanilla world is bigger than huge. I think that qualifies me for a few more days off.

Last night I "prepared" dinner. But it was a planned prepared so I think that is somewhere higher on the scale than "gee, what can I make for dinner that takes less than 20 minutes?"

Tonight I am making chili. Well, I should say I am planning to make chili. A lot can happen between now and dinner time. I have one thing in my favor though--I remembered to take the meat out to thaw. That's one step closer to an actual meal! Yeah for me.

In the land of gleevec, it's the little victories that count.

Vagabond dog

I just put a new tag on Macy. The old one got mangled because one of the kids (who of course shall remain nameless) hooked the leash onto it and when Macy pulled on the leash, off came the tag. We hadn't really found a tag necessary in the old house because Macy was a homebody. But here in the new house she is quite busy.

A few days ago, I let my guard down. I was letting Macy out in the back yard unsupervised. I really thought that the fence jumping thing was a fluke, a one time thing, only brought on by the presence of the visiting dog who was now gone. I was wrong. You see, there was an evil cat sitting up on our fence taunting Macy. She did what any self respecting dog would do--she whined and barked and clawed up the side of the fence at the cat but to no avail. The cat just stared at her mockingly. So then, remembering her incredible jumping skills, she scaled the wall, balanced at the top momentarily and then proceeded to jump over to the other side (the opposite side of her earlier leap). Now, her goal of killing the cat was not quite achieved since she went up onto the wall next to the cat and over just as quickly. I'm sure the cat was laughing an evil cat laugh. If Macy thinks she is going to catch cats that way she will have to work on her aim as well as walking the length of the wall. So, anyway, I had to run next door and retrieve my dog from the neighbors' back yard. She was running around smelling it and having a grand time. Luckily they weren't home to hear me screaming at my dog in their back yard.

Macy has also had a few jaunts out the front door. Two people (who will remain nameless) have (accidentally) left the front door open after leaving in the morning. Macy, ever the opportunist, decided to take a walk in the neighborhood and check out the sights and smells. Just what I wanted to do first thing in the morning--chase the dog throughout the neighborhood.

So, I'm guessing the new tag will prove to be worth the cost as Macy doesn't show any signs of voluntarily giving up her vagabond ways. If she's not careful I will start looking into those electric fences. Maybe I'll get a brochure and leave it laying around where she just might happen to see it.

Dinner

Big night here at the Macrane homestead last night. Are you ready? I cooked dinner. Ooooo. Are you impressed? Now in most homes this would not be big news, but for me it was momentous. I'm not really into cooking in general, but as of late I have not even had the energy to plan my menus and so I have been mainly "preparing" (throwing together) meals at the last minute and not actually "cooking." But last night I cooked! Yahoo for me. I made chicken tetrazzini, much to the amazement of my family. And that's not all...I cooked fresh broccoflower, a vegetable that we had never tried. And I'm a frozen veggie kind of gal--I don't usually, okay, truly, I never cook fresh vegetables unless it is corn on the cob. So all in one night I cooked a new, fresh vegetable and I cooked an entire dinner. That should cover me for a week or so, right?

Tommy update

What's Tommy up to?

Well, he's having fun in P.E. at school, as attested to by the presence of the P.E. teacher at our Parent/Teacher conference last Friday. Tommy is great--he continually gives us new experiences each day. We've never, in 8 years of having kids in school, had a P.E. teacher show up to a conference. And, just to assure you, it wasn't to tell us how incredibly athletic he is.

On the way to the church picnic on Sunday he was talking with his friend Thomas who came with us. They were talking about their phone numbers. Tommy recited his with ease and then said, "Thomas' is so easy...what was it again?"

He came home the other day with obvious spills on the front AND back of his shirt. He had spilled his fruit cup down the front and a friend had spilled down his back. I still have no idea how it got on the back and at this point I don't want to know.

At his class' Halloween party he was playing with a bendy straw in his mouth. He was pushing it in and pulling it out (because that is what the bendy part is for). At one point when he pulled it he pulled too hard and pulled it out of his mouth. His brain didn't get the message to his hand to stop fast enough and so he continued with the push motion and jammed the straw into his eye scratching his eye and drawing blood. I rushed him to the school nurse and we checked it out, but there was no major damage. Just another thrilling moment for mommy.

And, we got a letter from school this week saying that Tommy had failed his hearing screening in one ear. Now, before you get all worried for him, we are going to the ENT in a couple of weeks to have it checked out--it could be nothing--wax or fluid. I'm not banking on it though with the way things usually go in our family. :-) Even if he is losing some of his hearing I'm sure it won't phase Tommy. Life is one thrill after another and nothing will slow him down. It would just add to the full Tommy package!

Never a dull moment with the Tomster!

M is for...

So, here's how it went...

At dinner, Rachel asked me what we were bringing to the church picnic that started with M. She had heard the pastors say that we were supposed to bring something based on the first letter of our last name. Hee, hee, hee. We explained to the kids that it was actually A-L brings one kind of dish and M-Z brings another. Oohhhhh. They understand now.

But for fun, Sam suggested that we come up with some fun things we could bring that started with M. So all of the kids were yelling out different foods that started with M...meatballs, mangoes, marinara, m&m's...at this point Tommy says, "No, that starts with "e." The rest of us said, "Huh?" "Em-uh-Em's--it starts with 'e'." Luckily I had a package on hand so he could see what the name really is. He still says em-uh-em's though.

So, we continued with more M foods...Milky Ways, milk, macaroni & cheese, and then "Machos!" from the Tommymeister. "Machos?" "Yeah, machos." "What are machos Tommy?" "Nachos." "So, they are the same thing and you can call them both names?" "Yep." "Okay, Timmy."

More foods...mochas, mashed potatoes, meat, milkshakes, "Peas!!!" 1 guess as to who said that. At this point Sam and I were laughing hysterically. He said it with such excitement, so sure he had come up with a great one.

So, we told him that we love how he makes us laugh. I said, "Tommy, you give us big laughs from down in our belly." "What? How? You don't eat me!"

No, but we really wish we could bottle you up and sell you. We'd make a fortune.

Newest Tommyism

Tommy keeps saying "You snooze, you lose." So I finally asked him what he thinks it means.

"You know," he said, "when you go 'achoo,' then you lose."

Farewell Fall Break

Fall break is on the verge of being over and while I have enjoyed getting to hang out with the kids, it is clearly time. It started on Friday. The day was still and quiet. There was an ominous feeling in the air. I could sense it coming, and sure enough by 10:00 a.m. there was nothing to do. I was torturing them by not having something fantastic planned for the day and so they were sucked into the vortex of boredom, that horrendous black hole that sucks the joy out of any possible activities that mom suggests. It wasn't pretty. I don't know how, but somehow we all survived.

Tommy is anxious to get to school to show everyone his new glasses. And how he puts them on. And takes them off. And puts them on. And takes them off. And puts them on...You get the idea. Those poor glasses clearly won't have a long satisfying life helping a young boy to see. Their days are numbered. And I'm confident it's not a very big number.

Noah gets to kick off the first day back with his birthday. He will be ten tomorrow. Sigh. His treat of choice for his classmates is oreos on a stick, dipped in white chocolate. Cupcakes are so yesterday. He spent today at Castles 'n' Coasters with his best friend Ryan and his dad. They just called on the way home and it sounded like it was a great day. He wanted to do that in lieu of a party which worked perfectly for me. Let's see, your dad takes you out for the day and thereby keeps you out of the vortex of boredom and I don't have to plan activities and prepare food for 8-10 strapping young boys...put me down for yes. Didn't take much thought on my part.

So, tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. the quiet resumes around here. Maybe I'll just sit around all day whining to myself that there is nothing to do.

Day One

Well, day one of Fall Break hasn't even come to a close and yet it has been action packed.

We started the morning early. Very early. Noah's best friend Ryan slept over and they, along with Emily, Katya and Rachel, slept in the tent in the back yard. So, they were up early giggling and talking very loudly. Something I'm sure the neighbors were thrilled about since I was so excited to be awakened that way. (I neglected to mention that I had already been awake a couple of times before that since Noah woke me at 4:00 to tell me he was freezing--although the shivering and chattering of teeth gave it away before he even spoke. He warmed up in our bed and then went off to get sweats on--why that didn't occur to him in the first place I have no idea. And then Sam left for the airport at quarter to five for an early flight to Florida waking me with a jolt when he leaned over to kiss me goodbye. Mom Radar was apparently still on from our 4 a.m. visitor. Lots of sleep for me last night.)

I took Tommy to the eye doctor this morning and found out that he needs glasses. Yippee. So, we ordered two pair in anticipation of him losing and/or breaking them. I'm just as much of an optimist as the next guy, but I'm thinking a dose of realism is necessary in this situation. He is cute and funny and keeps the adults in his life on their toes, but one thing he is not is responsible. So let's strap something breakable on him and just tell him to be careful. I'm sure he'll be fine. For the first week. He is the poster child for "don't give me anything expensive." So, we got 2 pair of cheap Wal-mart glasses! I didn't look at anything other than the cheapest ones they had. I drew the line at geeky though. I would have been willing to pay up if the cheapos were all nasty, but we found a couple of pairs that he liked and I liked. He was funny when he was first trying them on. He kept saying he didn't like any of the ones he tried. Then we finally figured out that he didn't like them because they weren't helping him see better!! Once he finally understood that we were looking for a pair that looked good we were able to find some quickly.

Soon after we got home we discovered that our dog Macy is the Welcome Wagon representative for the block. The neighbors next door are dog sitting and Macy, who takes her responsibilities very seriously, went over and above to greet the new dog. And I mean over and above literally. She jumped the cinder block fence without much difficulty and made a new friend with Joey. I was thrilled to have to go next door and retrieve her. She obviously didn't finish informing Joey of all the ins and outs of the neighborhood amenities because at her next opportunity she bolted out the back door and attempted to vault over the fence again. Katya threw herself at Macy and pulled her down off of the wall just in time. Macy is back in WW training on the proper way to greet a neighbor (the front door is the Welcome Wagon way). Let's just say she'll be spending more time in her kennel until Joey heads back home.

(Somewhere in here I discovered that a certain child had left their tooth under their pillow last night. Guess what happened? Nothing. Someone (me) dropped the ball. Now it's under the pillow in the tent. Brilliant. How am I going to do that with that many kids trying not to sleep?)

So then a little while later, the kids were playing monkey in the middle with the football and I received a phone call from one of the nurses at my oncologist's office. She was telling me my blood counts from last week (which incidentally are pretty good--white count is at 3400 and red is in the normal range). Raynham (the nurse) is also a Christian and was very sweet to me while I was in chemo five years ago. So we were chatting and catching up for a few minutes and she was asking how the kids were doing. I could see them running around the back yard and didn't think anything of it while I chatted. Tommy came running up with a freaked out look on his face but seeing I was on the phone he went back outside without a word (good job Tommy on not interrupting--but this time maybe you should have!). A minute later I looked a little closer at who was running. Katya was chasing Noah around the yard. Hmm. After a couple of more laps, it occurred to me that he was not holding the football. When I looked closer it was obvious that Katya was out for blood. Yikes! So I got off the phone and stepped in to stop the potential bloodshed. It turns out Noah was a little too rough in his attempts to get the ball during monkey in the middle and Katya grew tired of it and snapped. She had no idea what she was going to do when she caught him, but it clearly wasn't going to be a hug. I'm sure Katya was confused by my response, but I couldn't help but laugh after it was all settled. I mean, this was totally out of character for her and totally comical. If there is one person in this family that you would not want to go after it is Noah. He has a streak of anger and if he had gotten mad this could have been really ugly. Praise God he found much humor in it and just wanted to save himself from the wrath of his sister. It's also a good thing he is a fast runner and that she was crying and not able to run faster! The whole thing looked like a scene from a sitcom or a Baby Blues cartoon with them zigzagging across the yard. It still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

And that is just the happenings as of 3:30 this afternoon. What lies in wait for me tonight??? Or the rest of the week?? One thing is for sure, Macy will be in her kennel. We also have Ryan and his sister Cassie sleeping over tonight for round 2 of the Tent That Doesn't Sleep. Maybe I'll slip a little Benadryl into their hot cocoa...

Happy Anniversary to me!

Five years ago today I received "the call." The official phone call from my doctor with the results of my biopsy. I had cancer. So, today is my official anniversary.

Five years means that I have "officially" forotten many of the details of my surgery and treatment. At the time all of those details were swirling about in my head and I knew every drug name and every procedure's purpose. Now it is a past event that I remember in generalities (like nausea and baldness--that part I remember with great clarity!).

Five years is a big one for breast cancer. "Survival rates" go up significantly after five years. (Although I have to laugh at the statistics--God doesn't work in the business of statistics. They do not restrict Him in any way!) The funny thing for me though is that, having been diagnosed with CML last spring, it's sort of an anti-climatic anniversary! You can't really celebrate being cancer free when you have a new kind of cancer! So, we'll just say that it's my anniversary of being breast cancer free. The absence of any kind of cancer is cause for celebration I suppose.

My diagnosis coincidentally happened during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That meant that no matter where I went there was a pink ribbon staring me in the face. I couldn't get away from it!! It was like a scene from the Twilight Zone with me running down a dark hallway with pink ribbons floating after me with malicious glares on their little pink faces! They don't bother me any more though, they are just a reminder of something I once had, like an ingrown toe nail or something. They've lost their power. HaHaHaaaa! Take that you evil little ribbons!

So, celebrate for me today. Have a latte, take yourself to lunch, have ice cream for dinner. Just don't buy anything with a pink ribbon on it!

One of these things is not like the other

Somehow this seems appropriate.

Crazy Hair Day

Real, untouched photos from Crazy Hair Day.

Pink Power!

I hope the color pink doesn't cause anyone to have seizures or you'll have to stop reading this blog until:

A) You provide me with a doctor's note proving that pink is hazardous to your health
B) You get pink filtering eyeglasses
C) I get the urge to change it again

Thursday on the go

Well, the energy honeymoon is over. Sigh. It was nice while it lasted. The good news is that if I can have two days filled with energy then maybe there are more in my future!

Tomorrow I'll be so busy it won't matter if I have any energy. I'll be so busy going from one place to another that I will be forced into a state of awakeness.

I am helping in Tommy's class at 10:00. The kinetic energy of those 20 first graders is enough to keep anyone awake and on edge. After spending a few days volunteering in there, I am absolutely convinced of his teacher's sainthood. How she stays patient in the face of WAY more questions than even my kids ask is beyond me. And she has Crazy Man (aka Tommy) keeping her on her toes as well as several other crazy men that are in Tommy's posse.

After a quick break for lunch I get to go to Rachel's third grade class to help put together armadillos out of paper plates and toilet paper tubes. I have no idea WHY they are making armadillos, just that they are and need help because a hot glue gun is involved. The alternative to having parent helpers is not a pretty picture: 21 eight and nine year olds running loose with hot glue guns. The nurse would have to set up a triage in the hallway.

Rachel then has a birthday party at 3:30 followed by an activity at the school library for the whole family. We'll just call it "bedtime stories for mommy" and they can just roll me out on a TV cart after I curl up in a corner and succumb to the inevitable.

Who's on First?

Tommy recently asked me "Is the Slussers coming?" (The Slussers are our friends and former neighbors).
"When?" I asked.
"When they come."
"When do you want to know if they are coming?"
"Right now."
"No, I mean, you're wanting to know if the Slussers are coming but when do you mean?"
"When they come."
After several more rounds we finally determined what his question really meant. But I think I have a small bald spot as a result of the conversation.

A Sunday full of energy

I have had a great day physically today! Yahoo! Of course, it might be that I didn't take my medicine yet. And at this point I am waiting until bedtime because I don't want to ruin a good thing! I have had more than enough energy, which is good because the kids apparently had a very high quota of questions to fill for the day. Oy. They haven't stopped. See how God gives us the grace (and energy) we need for the moment? He knew they were going to be filled to overflowing with thoughts that needed answers. Example from Tommy: Is it possible to scream so loud that a whole state could hear you? Answer in my head: Keep asking me questions and I think we'll get to test that hypothesis.

Tommy also decided that it was a good idea to rub his forehead against the carpet in his room while he played with his cars. And then he discovered an odd thing...it begins to hurt after you do it for too long. It is already a lovely scab. Thankfully there aren't school pictures this week.

I even had enough energy to rearrange Katya and Rachel's room. (Just in case you thought I wasn't serious about having energy!) It looks pretty cool now. And I'm still not exhausted!

Sam is on his way home. He, on the other hand, is very tired. He was up way too late reminiscing with his high school buddies and has had nonstop time with his sisters and mom for 3 days. I'm guessing he is snoozing at 35,000 ft. about now.

Time to go tackle another project!

(P.S. White count update: My white cells are at 3100 this week. Up from 2500 two weeks ago--which is good news. It's supposed to be between 5,000 and 10,000. When I increased my gleevec dosage back to 400 mg a few weeks ago it dropped, but it seems to be on it's way up.)

I'm baaaaack

Did you miss me? Sorry about the absence. My dad came to visit--which meant several days of preparing the house so it would be a little more "finished" for his first visit--and then he was here for 5 days and then the day he left I came down with a head cold. Apparently a simple head cold on top of gleevec was enough for a few days on the couch. But today I am up and about finally and trying to make up for lost time--i.e. attacking the evil laundry pile. I think someone dumped some miracle grow on the hamper while I was incapacitated.

Sam left for Chicago today. His 20th high school reunion is this weekend. I probably should have gone with him so that I could beat off all of those girls that had a crush on him 20 years ago and never got over it. I told him I would prefer it if he dressed like a slob and didn't shave or brush his teeth before he went. :-)

He gets to spend the weekend with his four moms too. More specifically his mom and his 3 older sisters. He will answer probably a thousand questions in the span of the weekend--they are big question askers. (If you say something was blue it would not be out of the ordinary for them to clarify what kind of blue you mean--cobalt, sky, turquoise...? If a food was delicious they will want to know what made it delicious. I, not being very detail oriented, just say it was blue and good.) He will also get some very yummy food as all of them enjoy cooking--unlike the wife he was lucky enough to catch. We, on the other hand, will probably have our fill of cereal and pizza for dinner. Maybe I'll throw in a little mac 'n' cheese and dazzle the kids with my culinary expertise. But if Daddy ain't home you can be sure I won't be cooking full-on meals. Not that I've been slaving over a hot stove from my perch on the couch all week. Although I did cook Wed. night--in between rest stops on the couch. So really it is a well deserved cooking vacation after that exhausting exercise. Once a week is more than enough for me.

Well, I've put my head down onto the desk 3 times now so I think that's the signal to call it a night. Must have been all that exertion bringing home those Little Caesar's pizzas.

Anniversary o' the Lump

Five years ago today the country was still reeling from the Sept. 11 attacks. We were all still glued to our television sets hoping for survivors and wanting to know how this had happened. It was an emotionally wrenching week to be sure.

And then on the evening of Saturday, Sept. 15 I started my own emotional journey when I discovered a lump in my breast. I tried to take the position that it was probably nothing but I would get it checked out anyway (after of course I scoured the internet and found out that statistically "most" lumps are benign). I called the doctor on Monday morning and got in right away--it's amazing how quickly there is an opening in the doctor's schedule when you say the word "lump." He referred me for a mammogram, which I had to wait a week for because Sam and I were going to San Francisco for a long weekend for a conference for church. So, less than two weeks after 9/11 I was flying on an airplane and wondering if I had cancer. Suddenly terrorists seemed a very distant threat when I was walking around wondering if I had a time bomb of sorts inside of my own body. The weekend turned out to be very introspective for me as I was faced with my own mortality for the first time at the ripe old age of 33. All kinds of what-ifs went through my mind but surprisingly I wasn't an emotional wreck. I was still trying to remember that nothing definitive had been found and I shouldn't diagnose myself. After all, "most" lumps that are found turn out to be nothing. So I would go back and forth between "what if it's cancer" and "I'm sure it's nothing." The lesson there is to focus on truth and on what you KNOW.

Our weekend in San Francisco was nice but eerie at the same time. No one was traveling and so our hotel was almost empty. The city of San Francisco, normally bulging with tourists was like a ghost town. I think all of that added to my introspection. I think all of us were faced with our mortality in some ways as we realized that thousands of people had lost their lives in the Twin Towers having only gone in to work for the day. We realized how easily it could have been us. So, add "gee, I wonder if I have cancer" on top of that and you have a very serious look at your life. I kept thinking I didn't feel like I was "ready" to meet my Savior. I knew my heart was so easily turned from Him. I felt like I would be ashamed if I had to face Him because I was caught up in so many other things besides Him. He was not my priority. I did not want to face Him knowing that. Thankfully I am still here and He very kindly gave me the time and the grace to have my priorities altered. And I can say wholeheartedly now that I am ready to leave. There is nothing I would rather do than sit at His feet. My life is not perfect by any means, but my heart, while still prone to wander, is His. There are a lot of things I would still like to change in my life to have it be more Christ-like, but I don't fear being ashamed in facing Jesus. For one thing I understand grace so much more! It's not about me and what I have or haven't done, it's about Him and what He did on the cross. I will never "earn" his love and devotion. He gave it freely on Calvary.

So five years ago I was a very different person starting out on a journey not knowing where it would take me. It was a long hard journey (still is!!!) but I would take it again in a minute. Because in those difficulties I came to understand who God is and that my hope is in Him. His grace truly is sufficient. And I can't wait to be with Him forever!

Come, Lord Jesus!

Side effect #1: fatigue

There are a number of side effects to my medicine but fatigue is the main one that plagues me. It is rather humorous at times. Like last night when I was making meat loaf for dinner. I was mixing up the meat loaf by hand and the muscles in my arm were burning after about 30 seconds. Like "at the gym bench pressing twice my weight" burning. And I was breathing like I had just run the 50 yd. dash. All of which I find hysterical because, give me a break, all I was doing is mixing some meat, bread crumbs and eggs--not exactly a physically daunting task. But maybe I've got something new here. This could be the newest workout video craze--Meat loaf to Muscles: Feel the Burn. I bet there are chemo patients out there that would buy it!

And there was also the nap I took during the conference at church yesterday--sort of a flashback to college. No offense to the speakers--they were awesome. I was thoroughly enjoying the material and the speakers. But my body decided about 3/4 of the way through that I was done physically. Way done. Over done as a matter of fact. Fatigue + Sitting for 2 1/2 hours = nap time. Thankfully I felt the sleep taking over and was able to take myself to the Guest Reception/Nursing Moms room (now renamed the Guest Reception/Nursing Moms/Melinda's Nap Room--we'll need to come up with an acronym for that to make it easier to say). I found a very comfy overstuffed chair and thereby avoided insulting the speaker by nodding off during his presentation. The good news was that I felt much better after my 30 minute snooze. Hopefully there will be a CD of the session so I can see what I missed!

So, 9.9 times out of 10 when you ask me how I'm feeling, you can rest assured that I am feeling tired. So we'll just have that as our break even point and when I answer I'll just let you know if I'm feeling better or worse than break even. Otherwise I'll be saying the same thing over and over and I am going to start sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher and causing great annoyance to anyone in my path. And we don't want that to happen.

Dishes and Laundry and Blogs, Oh My!

So, someone made a comment to me recently about "writing something new already." You know who you are. :-) I just have to refer you to the Leukemia Handbook where it clearly states that I am not responsible for a lack of blogging when caused by a gleevec induced walking coma.

I have come out of my coma today but I haven't got anything interesting to write about so I'll write about doing dishes and laundry because that is what I have done today. (See what happens when you complain about me not blogging? You can stop reading now and go watch some paint dry if you want.)

The laundry part is momentous because I have not been able to do any for a week as I have been without a dryer until today. We had to leave our old dryer for our renters--which was good for me because that meant I got a new one but which also meant I would be without a dryer until we had time to get to the store and pick one out and have it delivered. And when you have 5 kids and do laundry each and every day it is not a good thing to skip laundry for a week. The stress induced tic on the left side of my face was just starting to reveal itself when we finally got ourselves to the store to buy one. I have piles of laundry that are being run through as quickly as the machine will take them. If there is a problem with the new dryer we should know by the end of the day!

The inside of the new dryer is stainless steel which is cool--it is so shiny! My old one was white. Well, it was white at one time but recently it was sort of rainbow colored--not like a pretty rainbow in the sky but more like a dingy rainbow of smushed colors and old stickers. I could put my make up on in the new one. That is if I felt like putting my head in the dryer to do so. Which I doubt.

And then there's the dishes. Endless. In our old house we very rarely used the dishwasher. I don't know why, we just didn't. Here for some reason I use the dishwasher every day and sometimes twice. Although the kids are still trying to learn to put things in there instead of just tossing them in the sink. The same nerve endings that still need to mature for that task are the ones that cause them to step over their clothes and toys on the floor and not think twice about picking them up. But it's not their fault, biologically they just aren't capable. Either that or somehow I've scarred them by requiring too much from them at too early an age and now they have Oppositional Clean Up Disorder (OCUD).

Now it's time to answer the call of the shiny dryer and get another load in. Maybe I'll touch up my make up while I'm in there.

Happy Birthday Katya!

Today is Katya's 12th birthday. She was so excited this whole week that she was ready to bust. I asked her if she used to get excited about her birthdays in Russia and she said "not really because we didn't really do anything." That doesn't define birthdays in the Macrane family. We do birthdays big. Well, as big as I can with leukemia and five children as a handicap.

The day starts with the birthday child waking up to signs, balloons and streamers in their room. Why? Because I did it once for Emily on a whim when she was little and it became an instant tradition without anyone consulting me. (The year we moved to Chicago we were staying at Sam's sister's house and I didn't think to decorate Emily's room. Let's just say I won't be making that mistake again--you would have thought I had pistol whipped the child based on the reaction. And then there was the year we were in Russia for Emily's birthday. I had to leave the signs and specific instructions for Grandma to fulfill this requirement! And yesterday Katya asked me if I would be decorating her room like I did last year. I guess since we moved she thought the tradition might change. She can rest easy there, her siblings would never stand for it.) Needless to say there have been plenty of birthday eve's where I could be found holding my eyelids open while hanging the decorations in their rooms. Oy. Katya's birthday was no exception.

One birthday tradition that we got jacked on was free Krispy Kreme doughnuts since they went belly up here in AZ last month. But, that didn't stop Katya. She suggested that she could go somewhere else for doughnuts instead. The free part clearly escaped her. So Sam took her to Safeway for some coffee and doughnuts this morning. She LOVES coffee and doesn't get it very often so this was a fun treat. As if she needed anything to jazz her up even more.

Then this afternoon Sam took the kids and a few of Katya's friends to Hamilton pool for a couple of hours. It was so hot today that it was a great day for a swim. They'll sleep hard tonight. We capped it off with pan cookie and ice cream and sang to her. What kid doesn't like that part?

In our family, birthday kids get to pick the dinner menu. I was almost sorry for that today. Katya's request? Corn--you know it's going to be interesting when that was her lead item. And mashed potatoes with bacon. And fruit. Carb junkie doesn't even begin to describe her. That Atkins guy would have flipped to see her eat. I don't know where the idea for the bacon on the potatoes came from since I have never served it that way. I guess it was just creative birthday license. I opted to just offer it on the side and she crumbled it into hers for a smidge of protein and a whole lot of fat.

Her most favorite gift was a kids video camera from her grandparents. She's videotaping her siblings doing ridiculous monologues right now. A family of hams. She was totally surprised by the video camera as you can see by this picture. (Emily had given her the hat which ended up looking, appropriately enough, like a director's beret!)




Needless to say, her 3rd American birthday rocked. How could it not when she ended up with a video camera!?!

Before and After

Before:


After:

Things I learned today

(in no particular order)

1) There are some very not nice people in the carpet cleaning business.
2) Carrying a bag full of library books will wear me out for a good 2 hours.
3) God gives us opportunities to share about Jesus when we least expect it.
4) Cleaning a 15 year old refrigerator really makes you appreciate your brand new one.
5) You can get a muscle cramp in your neck.
6) Muscle cramps can last for more than 20 minutes.
7) To a young child faced with certain punishment, lying can be seen as not only a viable option, but the smartest course of action possible.
8) To the parent of a young child faced with certain punishment, it is the ultimate in absurdity to attempt to lie in the face of multiple witnesses and factual evidence.
9) In some people's minds, a 1450 sq. ft. house can have approximately 1700-2000 sq. ft. of carpeting in it. (see #1)
10) Mosquitoes bred on a soccer field/retention area/post-monsoon swampland make coordinated attacks in swarms.
11) Mosquitoes were actually created after the Fall as a part of the curse (although I have no Biblical basis for that whatsoever.)
12) Mosquitoes have two purposes: to test our reflexes and to develop our hand-eye coordination. Make that three: to give me exercise as I run with all of my might back to the safety of my van while swatting at my arms and legs like a crazy woman.
13) I can still type and fold laundry in a hazy fog of fatigue.
14) Mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes really good late at night.

You say potato I say potahto

Funny story for the day courtesy of Katya. This will give you an idea of why she is struggling in school and we are running her here and there having testing done.

We were driving to her Speech Pathologists' office for testing today when out of the blue she says, "Have you ever been to Ohio?"

Hmmm. Odd question, but I'll bite. "Yes, I've mostly just driven through Ohio but I think we stayed the night once." Silence on her end.

"Um, Kat, what made you ask that? It was sort of a random thought."

"Well, the library teacher dressed up like she was from Ohio and read us a story about Ohio. And we listened to music from Ohio. In the story there was an animal that ate rats."

At this point all I can think is WHAT? How exactly does someone dress like they are from Ohio? What kind of music is from Ohio? Animals that eat rats in Ohio??? So, with only that information my mind is whirring trying to latch onto something, anything that might make sense.

So, being absolutely stumped as to what an Ohioan (Ohioite? Ohioette?) wears that would be different from anyone around them (a gingham dress? overalls?) I finally asked, "What did the dress look like that she was wearing?"

"A hula skirt."

"Ohhhhh! Do you mean Hawaii?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess."

Never having been to Ohio or Hawaii the humor of her mix-up didn't strike her like it did me. They're both just states with h's and a bunch of vowel sounds to her. I can honestly say I've never in my life confused someone from Ohio with a Hawaiian. I still need to get to the bottom of the rat eating Hawaiian animal though. The upside of all of this is that when she pines away because everyone else except her has gone to "Ohio" for a vacation it will be easy--and cheap!--to take her there! She'll be disappointed not to see any hula dancers and rat eating animals, but she'll be able to say she was in Ohio if someone asks!

Maytag Mayo Funk-a-rama

I had a leukemia day today. That's what I call it when I am feeling the effects of my medicine. (I should probably call it a Gleevec day since it is caused by my medicine, but Gleevec sounds like a name for a robot or a vacuum or something and people would be like "What? You feel like a robot today? And that would be really confusing for everyone so I went with "leukemia day". And really, since it's my disease I can call it whatever I want--it's in the leukemia handbook.) Anyhoo, most days I skip through life blissfully unaware that I have anything wrong with my body, but every once in a while I hit a brick wall--usually named fatigue--and I am woefully aware that "something is not right" as Miss Clavell would say (Madeline's nun/teacher for those of you who haven't read a children's book in a while). All that to say I took a nap for 2 1/2 hours today. Can it really be called a nap when you sleep for that long?

Thankfully Sam stayed home so I could take that nap because our new refrigerator was finally being delivered today and I knew I would sleep through the doorbell or phone because I was in such a coma. So we have a shiny new refrigerator with the freezer on the bottom. The unanticipated downside of that was the limited reach the smaller members of our family have to the top shelves of the fridge--and the middle ones for that matter. The good news for them is it'll be easier to reach the frozen waffles and ice cream. Oh, there was a small ding in the side of the fridge so they docked $75 bucks off the price which made Mr. M very happy. And the delivery guys were nice enough to take our old fridge back to our former residence making Mr. M very happy once again.

Then this afternoon I had an appointment with a doctor at the Mayo Clinic for a second opinion. My doctor wanted someone else's input on the dosage of my medicine. For those of you who have never been there, the Mayo Clinic looks more like a hotel than a hospital when you walk in. The guy playing the grand piano in the corner helps add to that feeling. If I need any kind of transplants or a splinter removed or anything I am really hoping my insurance will let me go there. It was very nice.

The guy that did my registration paperwork was very cool--and was a major throwback to the 70's complete with afro, blue tinted glasses and beaded necklace. Sam said to him, "You're not from around here, are you?" "You're right, my man" was his response. He's from Chicago and it turns out the hospital gig is just his day job. He's lead singer in a band called Calumet. "Arizona's All Original Funk N Roll Band--Rock-Soul-Funkateers." Seriously--I'm not making any of this up. He gave us his card. They are playing an all night "Funk-a-thon" Saturday night in Scottsdale. He invited us but I haven't gone to something that started at 10:00 since I was in college. And I'm certain we would be the oldest and non-funkiest people in the room.

The doctor that we met with was very nice but clearly not a funkateer. What Dr. S. lacked in funk he made up for in brains though. He clearly knows his stuff. He recommended going back to the higher dose of my medicine and said that the drop in counts that I experienced over the summer is a very normal reaction to the medicine and usually means the body is getting rid of all of the bad leukemia cells and takes a while to start making enough good cells to replace them. He also recommended several different blood tests that I need to do to track the effectiveness of the medicine and to make sure it is continuing to work. The general medical consensus is it's best to take at least 400 mg of Gleevec so hopefully my body will continue to tolerate it as I go back to that level.

So, we got our new refrigerator, some good medical info and met a real live Funkateer all in one day. It's not every day you can say that.

LD and me

I know it seemed like I couldn't add anything else to my busy schedule at this point, but one of the things that is taking much of my time lately is shuttling Katya and Tommy for testing at different specialists. They are being tested for learning disabilities. Soon after they learned English we started noticing some difficulties they were having in communicating and forgetting things they were taught. We've had them tested at school but didn't come up with specific answers. We finally ended up at a center that specializes in learning disabilities and are starting to get some answers. Our next step is to go to a speech pathologist and have a full language evaluation because the doctor at the center feels they have a language disorder. They have difficulties with short term memory, rapid naming and decoding.

Now if some of that means nothing to you, take heart because it meant nothing to me just a short while ago! And I think I only have a very small handle on what it actually means. Once again I find myself in a whole new universe of terminology and explanations as we attempt to figure this all out. It is a great reminder of how ignorant I am in so many areas of life! The psychologist was explaining some of her findings to me and I felt like I was listening to Charlie Brown's teacher. Her lips were moving and very intelligent sounding words were coming out, but I all I could hear was "wah wah wah wah wah." I did what anyone would do--I smiled and nodded my head at what I felt were the appropriate times and hoped that the written report she's giving us will come with a glossary.

It gives the kids and I some common ground as well since I too have difficulty with my short term memory and rapid naming--or rapid anything at this point. I wonder if there is a therapy for me...

IKEA

We decided, rather ignorantly, to go to IKEA for lunch after church today. We needed some things for the house and the kids love going there. Perfect Sunday afternoon right? Wrong. It seems that Sunday is the day that EVERYONE in the greater Phoenix area--and many from some outlying towns, possibly even as far away as Yuma and Flagstaff--decide to go to IKEA. The first sign of craziness was someone in the parking lot directing traffic. I almost expected to have to park on an offsite lot and take a shuttle to the store. I have never in my life seen so many people streaming into a store at an unbelievably constant rate. Based on today's attendance alone I can guarantee that IKEA will meet it's sales goals for the year.

Even though my husband seriously considered aborting the mission and heading back home, all the gas we used to get us there clearly swayed his decision and we stayed. We did succeed in having lunch and wandering through the store and picking up what we needed. We even ran into a Russian family and exchanged a few basic phrases. IKEA is great for intercultural exchanges. People in all countries apparently go to IKEA on Sunday.

Getting home was a bit tricky. You see, we decided to buy the boys' bunkbeds and put an end to their sleeping on the floor. The problem was that our van is full with all 7 of us--not leaving room for two large boxes, flat packed or not! But we loaded the boxes regardless of the space issue and squeezed the kids into a few nooks and crannies (I'm not kidding) and headed home. There were many giggles as the kids felt the freedom of being unrestrained by seat belts as we drove down the highway. It was like a time warp back to the 70's when laying down in the back of the station wagon was common place and no more to be feared than riding a bike without a helmet. The good news was that we made it home without incident and now the kids have new stories for our family lore..."remember the time we rode in the van without seat belts and Rachel and Katya were on the floor under the boxes?"

So, you can be sure that we won't be heading to IKEA on a weekend ever again, but you should ask the kids about the crazy ride home on top of and under the boxes. I think they consider themselves fugitives from the law now.

Moving

Change, to 2 certain members of our family, is the equivalent of the Evil Empire. They don't want it, like it, or embrace it in any way and their life goal is to eradicate it from the face of the planet. The bummer for them is that our family is in a constant state of change. And I don't just mean switching from margarine to real butter. Big change like jobs, adoption, illness, and moving. If you don't keep up with our family on a very regular basis you are going to be shocked to find us dealing with some huge new deal. It's actually fun to see the looks on people's faces when they run into us after not seeing us for a couple of months and we have to update them. You know, that classic deer in the headlights look. So anyway, at various times in our lives those two certain family members can be found rocking back and forth in a corner mumbling to themselves. This week was one of those times!

We moved into our new house last weekend (hence the lack of posts on this blog). Now, moving is a huge and chaotic change even if it is a good change--as in our case. We now have just a bit more space so we don't have to shoehorn everyone into their rooms. It's definitely a good thing for me! The other morning I was laying in bed and I knew the kids were in the kitchen but I couldn't hear them at all. If that isn't enough to drive you to your knees in thankfulness I don't know what is.

We also now have stairs, which is a new adventure for us. The kids have been wanting an "upstairs house" for years and their dream has come true. Little did I know that the first day they would decide to "cardboard surf" down those stairs. So, we had to have an impromptu review of the do's and don'ts of stairs. For me the stairs represent an exercise program. I'm hoping they are helping build my much needed stamina. Many times though I find myself breathing heavy once I reach the top like, say, I had just run a 50 yd. dash. So some days I just avoid them altogether and stay on one level for as long as possible!

I am the designated unpacker for our family. The kids and Sam have all offerred up flimsy excuses about something ridiculous like school or work or some such thing that they have to do each day. Whatever. And let's face it, unpacking is sort of like cleaning your room and what kid is ready to sign up for that? They've made pathetic attempts at unpacking their stuff, but I'm sure it was all a ploy to look helpless so that I would just say "Nevermind, I'll do it" so they can go off and enjoy their big new back yard. And let's face it, their stuff looks completely fine to them in a pile in the middle of the room. I'm the one who feels it necessary for things to be put away so it's only natural that I be the designated unpacker. But I have to say I've made quite good progress in the last week. There are less than 10 boxes in the house that are left to be unpacked! My goal is to get to the point where we have pictures on the wall. Sam doesn't know it yet, but that's one of his jobs this weekend. He'll be so excited.

Ahhhh....

Can you hear it? The sweetest sound any mother of 5 very chatty children can hear...silence. Absolute silence. Well, I can hear the refrigerator running so it's not completely silent--does it usually make a noise? I wouldn't know.

That delightful silence is because all 5 kids are safely tucked away in a classroom where we have entrusted them to someone to teach them their reading, writing and arithmetic. And I don't think I could appreciate those teachers any more this year than I do right now. Because for several hours today while my kids are spinning like tops and chatting away under their tutelage, I am going to think a complete thought. Maybe even two if I am feeling crazy. And it just doesn't get much better than that.

NWS warning

I met with Tommy's new teacher this morning. She seems like a delightful woman. She just moved here from Ohio but has taught previously. I'm hoping she doesn't hate us by the end of the year.

You see, the point of the meeting was to be kind of like a National Weather Service warning. He is coming. Be prepared. It will not be our fault if she doesn't heed the warning and prepare herself. We considered having her sign a waiver releasing us from liability but thought that might really scare her.

Fortunately I think she can handle Tommy. She spoke in a sweet voice and had a cheery smile on her face, but spoke very firmly about discipline and how she "handles things" in her class. I liked that about her. I hope she is one of those teachers that everyone knows you just don't cross--even if she is smiling. I hope that Tommy will learn self control under her tutelage. I hope she has a classroom bouncer named Guido that takes the kids out back and roughs them up when they get out of line. But I'm guessing the school district would frown up on that. :-)

All of this is because Tommy is coming into this classroom not as a belligerent, obnoxious or mean child, but rather as a seasoned entertainer. One who cannot get enough applause or enough good reviews. No audience is too small and no act too ridiculous to please them. Add that to the fact that self control is a very vague and uninteresting concept for him and he is very easily distracted. And of course there's the fact that he forgets a great deal of what he is told. But, on the up side he is very cute.

So, our prayer for Mrs. D is that she would see past the cuteness from Day One and give Tommy the heavily structured environment he needs. I want her to look directly into Tommy's eyes--down to his very soul--and cause a shiver to run up his spine as she clearly communicates that she's got his number and he needs to shape up and fly right or bear her wrath. (Maybe she should wear army fatigues when she first meets him.)

We'll know soon enough how she will hold up against the whirling dirvish of 2006 known as Tommy.

It's all a matter of perspective

The benefits of leukemia are many. Most of you probably didn't know that. It's a little known secret to keep people from rushing out and attempting to get leukemia. We're an elite club and we like it that way.

One such benefit was revealed to us in San Diego. We went to Sea World two days of our trip. As soon as we arrived at the park Sam announced to me, "I'm getting you a wheelchair. There's no way you can walk around the whole day." It was true. They would have found me curled up on a park bench fast asleep had I attempted to walk and stand for that long. So, we got a wheelchair.

The benefit that we discovered was the special line for those who are wheelchair bound. No hour plus wait times here! We walked up, maybe waited 5-10 minutes and then boarded our own special roller coaster car. We were able to ride each ride many times each day. And we had special seating at many of the shows.

At one point when we were waiting for our car to arrive, the kids were looking over at the incredibly long line that all of those other poor people (who clearly lacked some sort of life threatening illness) had to wait in. One of them declared, "We are so lucky that Mommy is in that wheelchair so we can go in this line and not have to wait!" To which the other four heartily agreed.

And then they began making plans for Disneyland.

Medical update

So, the big question is: what is my white count at? I have good news to report. It is at 3700! All of my counts were looking good and in my doctor's own words I am "perfect." In fact he told me specifically to tell my husband that he said that. I knew I liked him for a reason. So now you all know that there is medical back up for me saying it.

The next step is to get an appointment with a doctor at the Mayo Clinic for a second opinion on my dosage level for my Gleevec. My doctor wants to make sure I am at a high enough dosage to keep the disease in remission while not having the negative side effects. I am currently waiting for them to call me back to set the appointment. The great news there is that the doctor that he referred me to is covered by the insurance that we are switching to as of Aug. 1!

And, I am feeling good. Still feeling side effects of the medicine, but overall I have energy and am able to go about my day doing my wife/mommy/professional mover thing! So that's something to praise the Lord about!

Busy, busy, busy

I'm just wondering if I could have any more going on right now. I frequently think of things to write on this blog only to have the day go streaking past me and then it is suddenly too late to be attempting to sound coherent. Not that I am very good at it in the middle of the day either, as you are about to find out!

Last week I was babysitting our friends' 3 kids while they were in Russia adopting their new daughter. As if 5 kids during the hottest part of the summer wouldn't be interesting enough, we decided to go with 8. Let's just say they watched more movies and played more PS2 and computer games than they would have if it hadn't been 118. The only other option was to take them out on outings to keep them occupied. Yeah right. 8 kids and a loopy lady on leukemia meds. Sign me up.

So, on top of that we are moving. That fills my plate all on it's own! Packing (let's just say that my skills in this area far surpass Sam's so therefore I am happily packing more of the stuff), change of address cards, calming the children's excitement about their new rooms, having the kids "help" pack. You get the idea.

And school starts next week. School supplies--the lists get longer and more specific every year!--new shoes, calming the kids excitement about their new school, having the kids go through their new stuff for the billionth time. Again, you get the idea.

And Katya is going to play the viola this year. Which means I must procure said viola. I don't remember signing up for viola procurement. There was no class on this in mommy school.

And Emily and Rachel both need braces. Yes I said both. Yippee. One would have been bad enough.

Oh, and Katya needs new glasses. I personally don't see why she just can't sit in the front and squint a little, but we have an appointment on Thursday. Why do all of our kids either have bad eyes or bad teeth--or both? We lost the lottery on that one.

Not to mention we are at the end of summer vacation. You know what that means. The B word. All 5 are horrifically bored. And I mean horrifically. This is the stuff of horror movies--scary moaning sounds included. It doesn't even matter that I am packing all of their toys and whatnot because there was nothing to play with before I packed them. Maybe we'll try to be like Laura Ingalls and each have one simple, handmade toy and be blissfully happy. Ha. That will teach them to whine.

So, that said, blog writing is at the bottom of the list. Not that I don't think about you all, but alas, I am not what you would call a great time manager. One of the side effects of my medicine is having a kind of "medicine head" much of the time. Which makes it harder to remember what it is I was doing and what I was going to do next. Much of the time I sit, pencil in hand having forgotten what I was just going to write on my to-do list so that I would remember it! Man, I sound like a mess! Laura Ingalls would have completed everything on my list and milked the cow and fed the chickens and made a new quilt.

Now before you all start getting upset at me for not asking for help...much of what needs to be done (like viola procurement) must be handled by me. Although I might take volunteers for that one. My main problem is keeping track of what needs to be done in my muddled head, so it seems like the list is longer than it probably is. And let's all remember one main point: school starts next Wednesday. My five precious darlings will be gone for much of the day and my hope is that the few brain cells I have that are in working order will be much less distracted at that point!

And we have about 60 percent of the house packed. So we are making huge progress. Even with the children's help.

So, there you have it. A long rambling post about why I don't post more often.

Good v Bad

So, Sam and I were talking last night about God's goodness in the face of bad things. I mean, really, some things are just bad. Very bad. Like, say, cancer. I'm not sure why that was the first thing that popped into my head, but it makes a good example, don't you think? But you could just as easily insert financial difficulty, relational difficulty, etc., etc.. So, anyway, while we were talking God reminded me that what we see as bad He allows for our good. Not that we suddenly make it feel good just by spiritualizing it. Or somehow think it away or speak about it in flowery prose and convert it into happiness and joy-joy-joy. It doesn't magically become "good". And God is not some crazy guy sending lightning bolts of horror at us just for some kicks and to give the angels a few laughs. We can trust Him. He allows bad things for our good. His idea of what is good for us. And shouldn't that be what we desire--His idea of good? For our character to be shaped and to become more like His Son. For our thoughts to turn to Him. For a passion for Him. To see more clearly who He really is--not some caricature of Him the world has created or some 2 dimensional view of Him--ALL of Him. We should desire to see His hand in all things from start to finish--not just when things go our way and we like the results. We must trust Him regardless of our circumstances. I only know whether I really trust Him when I am standing on the edge of the abyss, afraid to fall, and He says to jump. It's easy to talk about what I would do from the safety of the path, but it's when I'm on the edge that my heart is truly revealed. People with no trials are plastic Barbies and Kens. They live a life free of trials where everything goes perfectly and they think that they've got it all under control. I don't want a life like that. I want to live my life on the edge, feeling His presence and knowing that I trust Him and I am willing to jump. My hope must be in Him and Him alone or I won't jump and I won't get to relish in the closeness of His presence and have Him carry me through my trials from start to finish. To not feel His touch and His love when I am hurting would be an empty life indeed.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 ESV

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 ESV

Thank God for insurance!

I was checking something on our health insurance web page and I came across this information on one claim for my monthly prescription for Gleevec that made me incredibly thankful that God has provided health insurance for our family for my leukemia. Note the amount paid by insurance and my copay.

Claim Detail

Submitted Charges: $3,304.63

Aetna's Discounted Prescription Rate: $2,792.76

Paid By Plan: $2,772.76

Total Member Responsibility: $20.00


I take back everything I have ever said against the health insurance industry. Well, maybe I just take back a few things. They can't buy my allegiance with a mere $2700 a month.

Life with Tommy

We have yet to meet someone who sees Tommy for the first time (or hundreth) and doesn't say, "He is soooo cute." He is. We have eyes and we can see that. And it's a good thing for him that he is so cute. It's a defense mechanism like animals that look like their surroundings to protect them from predators. Tommy needs this protection because while he is incredibly cute he can be incredibly frustrating. Take tonight for example. I said to all of the children, "Children, I want everyone to go do their jobs." After this Rachel made a comment about a job that Tommy had already done and the children went off to work. All except Tommy. When I returned to the room he was playing under a blanket. (Doing what I don't know.) When I said, "Did you hear me say 'Children, I want you to go do your jobs'?" He replied, "Oh, yes." And did he hear what Rachel said after that? He repeated it almost verbatim. My next question: "So why were you playing and not doing your job?" Tommy's answer: "I didn't hear you tell me to." His dad had to deal with him at that point because I was standing there with my mouth open, unable to move.

Opening Day

Well, I've done it. At least I think I have. After spending much time attempting to figure out this whole blog thing I am attempting my first post. My hope is that this will keep everyone updated on my ongoing "condition" as well as giving me a place for the random thoughts that seem to occupy my brain much of the day.

So, my "condition." It sounds very dramatic when I say it that way doesn't it? My medicine dosage was cut in half about two months ago and it took a while, but my counts seem to be coming up into a safer zone than they had been. My white count was down to below 2000 for several weeks(it's supposed to be between 5,000 and 10,000) but at this point I am hovering in the 3,000 range. I meet with my doctor next week, so we'll see if things are okay or not.

And now the big question: How am I feeling? Well, that depends on the day. No, actually it depends on the hour. I still have bouts of being tired, but I am getting used to that. It comes and goes throughout the day, but is not necessarily debilitating. I have a few other miscellaneous side effects but they too are minor at this point and only mildly annoying. I won't bore you with the details. Unless of course you want me to bore you with the details. Maybe I can save that for a day when I have nothing else I can think of to share and you have nothing else you can think of to read.

Well, I have much more to say and I am thrilled that I now have a place to say it. Who knows how good I will be at being consistent with this once the newness wears off. We'll see. I've never been known for being too strong in the consistency category though! But there is always hope for change!