Birthday dinner adventure

Tonight we celebrated Sam's birthday. His birthday is actually tomorrow, but we have a friend coming into town and her flight arrives at 5:30 and so there was no way to have a birthday dinner and be at the airport at the same time, so we did the dinner tonight. Sam requested that the kids plan the meal for him in lieu of him selecting what he'd like. In other words he wanted me to have some personal growth out of this experience. So, off we went to AJ's to pick out something Daddy would like.

I prepped the kids multiple times at home AND on the way AND upon our arrival at the store that we were to be thinking of what Dad would like and not what they would each individually like. "This is our opportunity to bless Daddy," I said rather optimistically. It all came tumbling down in our first stop at the produce section. One of the children found some mini bananas and became fixated on them like a pitbull on a steak. More gentle reminders about being there for Daddy's birthday. "So, what vegetable should we get for Dad?" The words had barely left my mouth when the pitbull chimed in again on how cool those bananas were and couldwepleasegetthemtheywouldbegreatforbananasplits? I gathered the troops and gave a somewhat more militaristic pep talk about how our focus was on blessing Daddy and not ourselves and let's pull it together here or you don't want to see what will happen we might disappoint Daddy. There were several suggestions of foods that sounded eerily similar to foods that the suggestor loved but we were finally able to navigate our way out of produce with some asparagus and mushrooms and moved on to the seafood counter.

They had all decided that fish was the way to go because they all know that Sam loves fish and we never have it. Um, that would be because I hate strongly dislike fish. Which brought a new problem...I had no idea which fish to get since all of it sounds ultra nasty to me. So I gave in and called Sam and asked what he would like. We ended up getting a variety which I could have just done without calling him, but it helped to zero in on the kinds he would like to try. I think we ended up with 7 different kinds of nasty tasty fish. That's because I wanted to make sure there was at least one kind that he really liked. It's also because 6 of them were breaded and I didn't realize until they were in the cart that Kat and Tommy wouldn't be able to eat them. So we had to return to the counter and get some plain orange roughy for the gluten intolerant among us.

We decided on a wild rice mix for a side dish and my eyes were opened to the outrageous prices of wild rice. Um, it's just rice people. $8.00 for a teeny bag seems more than ridiculous. Which is why we went for a mix to bring the cost down somewhat. Emily, who takes after her dad in her cooking and eating preferences, wanted to do something exotic and creative. I just wanted to get out of the store since my 4 other children were down the aisle being incredibly loud and making up stories about the food. (I know, very creative of them.) Not to mention that the aforementioned pitbull had reared it's ugly head multiple times and latched on to several other products throughout the store. Wild rice was exotic and creative enough.

On to the bakery where we selected some yummy desserts--cannoli, lemon bar, cream horn, and a mini fruit tart. But not before some other rounds of canIpleasegetsome(fill in the blank)theylooksoyummy. At this point I think I had ground my molars to dust. I should probably mention too that today was a leukemia/Gleevec day that left me on the couch in a coma for half of it. I had enough energy to go to the store and buy food but not enough to parent effectively throughout the entire store. That was painfully obvious by the time we reached the checkout. By God's grace alone, my post store chat with the kids displayed some level of patience as we worked through what could have been done differently.

We survived the store and headed home. All the way home I can think only one thing: I have no idea how to cook any of the food we bought (except the rice since it came with directions) and not enough energy to try something new. How pathetic is that when trying to bless your husband with a special birthday dinner? Sam is a gourmet eater and he married a fast food wife who ended up getting leukemia. Poor choosing on his part really. But here I am with all of this food and no idea what to do with it. Luckily he was home when we returned and it was decided that he would have a "birthday bonding experience" with his kids while they cooked the meal together. That was pretty quick thinking on my part, don't you think? Thankfully he does enjoy cooking unlike the wife God gave him. Hey, I did do the dishes.

I guess the mushrooms turned out really well because they all raved about them. I wouldn't know since I don't eat mushrooms. And the asparagus was a real winner too because he used a recipe he had seen in one of my magazines and he was pleased with how the blah blah blah caramelized when he put it on the grill. I don't know. I don't eat asparagus. And the fish, well I tried to eat some of it. Emily told me that one of them was good and didn't taste like fish. Why do people say that? If it doesn't taste like fish then why eat it if you are wanting fish? Makes no sense to me. She was right though in part. At first it tasted a little chicken-y, but in the end it tasted like fish. Sam raved about the trout and how I needed to try it. It was in my mouth about 3 seconds before it was being washed down with my drink. Ick. Ick. Ick. Note to self: NEVER eat trout again. It really tasted like fish. Ick again. In the end all of them tasted like fish and all of them tasted like something I wouldn't want to eat again--especially on a day when I am feeling my Gleevec's side effects, many of which occur in my digestive tract. I announced to the children that just in case they hadn't seen me trying the fish I had tried it all and I would from this day forward be having something else if we ever have fish again. Because fish unfortunately tastes like fish. There is clearly something in my genes that has altered my taste buds to reject fish and any seafood products. And no, to answer your question, I don't even like lobster or King crab legs. Ick. Everyone always thinks that those will be the products to convert me to being a fish eater. Nope. Just as icky as any other seafood--except maybe trout.

I've decided that next year I am just going to fly Sam's mom in so she can prepare some gourmet feast. None of the foods in my cooking repertoire are anything that Sam would like for a special birthday dinner so clearly we need to bring in a professional. I'd be happy to do the dishes.